Old Love New Love

When I called her in the year before she died, really I just wanted confirmation that my amorous meanderings were valid. Were something she would have done. But she didn’t give me that. She said, You know, at my age, it’s just nice to have someone to hold me. I babbled on a little longer…

A Mouse Tale

Kindergarten. We sit in a big circle on the floor. The teacher passes around a mouse. It is a very small mouse. It fits in the palm of thirty-one five-year-olds. Until it gets to me. I don’t know that I am about to do what I am about to do. There is no prior thought…

The Riding Lesson

As the car drove onto the gravelled parking area I was suddenly reminded of the Freiderich’s farm, the crunch of the driveway, the slam of car doors. My sister would strap on a velvet hard hat and hop onto a horse for her weekly riding lesson. The other riders and horses walked slowly in a…

I’m a Writer

“And what do you do?” “I’m a writer.” Silence. The slight frown. Then the question. “What do you write?” I hate this question. I write words goddammit. And sometimes sentences! “Oh, lately I’ve been writing fiction, a novel actually. Well, not a novel, a novella.” Squirm. They look embarrassed for me and it sounds like…

Frugal Fable – The Pantry

After I quit my marriage and full-time job my pantry lasted about two and a half years. I didn’t know it was a good idea, but while I had money I overstocked the pantry. Pantry items include spices and herbs, salt, sugars, vanilla extract, liquid smoke, Worcestershire sauce, tins of beans and tomatoes, bouillon cubes,…

Green Stone

            I am hopeful. It comes in waves. Hopeful you will discover you love me. My despair keeps crashing battering at the break wall says you won’t. But I am as hopeful as the large sky and blue lake that filled my eyes today and the tiny green beach stone…

Frugal Fables Begins

The idea for Frugal Fables came as I was filling in for the receptionist at my local naturopathic clinic. The most challenging aspect of the job was booking appointments for busy career women. Some women told me they started work at seven in the morning and they wouldn’t be home until past our closing time…

Filling the Empty Nest

Last January, a sudden bout of empty-nest syndrome collided with my daughter’s desire to get a puppy. At first, she wanted me to get a puppy that she would “visit and help take care of”. Fat chance! I outlined for her the many reasons I would not house a puppy for her. Two of them,…

Why Christmas turns my Crank

As an atheist I would never have wished Christmas away, entirely. Granted, I bristled at the Christian takeover of a pagan solstice celebration; but I had nothing against a saintly old man who poured gold pieces into the stockings (hanging to dry by the fireside) of some desperate young sisters (their orphan-hood and poverty were…

Casualties

They celebrated the Armistice, for the second day in a row, at the mid-day meal; Grandma Claughton had attempted and succeeded in baking a light and fancy Angel Food Cake. The mood in the house was joyful, even if Viola thought Ethel was a bit sulky and withdrawn. Viola guessed it was difficult to celebrate…

Couldn’t put it down

When I wrote Chatterbox I had an editor who went through the manuscript with me, word by word, line by line. It was an exhilarating process that took several months. After my work with him, I continued to revise and polish the manuscript. When I felt it was ready for outside eyes I enlisted the…

Gluttony

Yesterday I pondered: why is gluttony considered a sin, or why would God, if there is such a being, care whether I overeat. In other words, is it not God’s will for me to enjoy the edible abundance and bounty in my world? And if not, why not? It didn’t take long for Mr Google…

Odd Ball

This moon this changing mood am I waxing am I waning am I full? These empty ovaries twin moons white nodules in the sea of me fireless stony and silent. My mood slithers from orbit like a cracked egg sliding down my thigh I’m moving toward uselessness. My mother assures me, the time beyond this…

ENEMY, the movie

My Review of ENEMY: This movie was filmed so that it looks like a bad, yellowy Polaroid from the 60s. Everything, including Jake Gyllenhaal, is brown. It’s shot in Toronto, and our city never looked more depressing – reminded me of my childhood. I found it very humorous, but then I laughed throughout FINDING LLEWYN…

Getting in Shape (for free)

Yesterday I came up with a whole new chapter for the book I’m working on (How to Live on Nothing and Have Everything). It’s called, Getting in Shape. CAUTION: This material is untested. I found myself believing the horseshit that if I only had money I’d get in shape; I’d join a gym; I’d hire…

Fishing

I’m fishing in a fathomless pond reeling in six today no seven piscine quicksilver so easily forgotten dragged from depths below I remember. The water tranquil mere ripples across the deep dark green a verdant vast pool of whispers and secrets. I pull them gasping for life breathe into them they don’t die dancing in…

Nouns

If I were to lose my nouns now as many women do what would become of my poetry? It would blow into nothingness a silent storm waving beyond air-tight windows. But I am blessed. As the hormones rearrange my brain and life, my nouns stick to me like magnetic poetry on the refrigerator. I am…

Losing You

I did not love you well enough or deep enough. I held back, disdained. And now regret rains on me for there are no further years to fill with opportunities for sunny affection or daisy days. I cared. I took care. I tended but I did not love. Today I crack open and leak from…

Blooms

I am weighted down by the beauty of the full-blown bush. Once upon a time I grew a rose but snipped its buds in their rolled and soft perfection. I prefer the unbloomed rose before it opens and begins to drop its petals. These bushes sag, burdened by their aging beauty it is too much!…

Q-Tips

Because the insides of my ears are wet I put down my chore and heed the Q-Tips’ call. I must swab out my canals while the wax is soft, and dry them so the wind no longer tingles through cooling them. Listen. Some people, I’ve heard, see their livingroom askew and rush to dust and…

Sexopause

Have you ever had a phase in your life when, in spite of being open to a sexual relationship, your romantic universe just doesn’t collide with the universe of Mr. A&A (Attractive and Available)? I call this, Sexopause. It can last a few weeks, a few months or, as in my current case, a few…

Silence

The long cold silent winter stretches out like a thin blanket on a loveless bed. I trust life is breathing – a barely beating heart in hidden leaves and sunken acorns frigid bulbs. The silence menaces me. No birds no dogs no screen doors slamming. No ribald teenage calls at two in the morning from…

Fruit Flies

I watch the winged drown in the cider trap feel a tinge sorry for their floating bodies no longer flitting annoying gnats helicoptering the tomatoes the pears the compost bucket. I rationalize that their last moments were at least debauched for flies. Then I reflect on the soldiers drowning in mud swatted from this planet…

California Cold

I flee outdoors to the sun. Cold in California where the altitude or latitude or some other damn thing like oceanic air renders caffeine neutral in my blood. Chilled and drunk on words from my host’s stack of books unread or read in our parallel universae a year ago or ten. He laughs at me…

Air Show

Just wanted to say, on this fine dull morning, how yesterday you sat at a picnic table grinning at me from a face I’d never seen. And you reached out and into me and expelled an obsession taxiing there for take off. My ears are open not full of sand or pain. Open to hear…

Right and Left

“Pooh looked at his two paws. He knew that one of them was right, and he knew that when you had decided which one of them was right, then the other one was the left, but he never could remember how to begin. “‘Well,’ he said slowly-” from The House at Pooh Corner by A.A.Milne…