The Riding Lesson

As the car drove onto the gravelled parking area I was suddenly reminded of the Freidrich’s farm, the crunch of the driveway, the slam of car doors. My sister would strap on a velvet hard hat and hop onto a horse for her weekly riding lesson. The other riders and horses walked slowly in a circle…

Just Call Me Second-hand Rose

The first lesson I learned by living on next to nothing was humility. I had to pack away my vanity and my pride and say a big resounding YES to hand-me-downs and cast offs. I ended up getting so much stuff I had to give most of it away to the charity drop boxes around…

I’m a Writer

“And what do you do?” “I’m a writer.” Silence. The slight frown. Then the question. “What do you write?” I hate this question. I write words goddammit. And sometimes sentences! “Oh, lately I’ve been writing fiction, a novel actually. Well, not a novel, a novella.” Squirm. They look embarrassed for me and it sounds like…

Movie Review: The Lady in the Van

It’s not often enough that we get to see an actress age. What a treat it is to watch Maggie Smith grow older and older and older. She is an old lady and she’s allowed to play one; here in The Lady in the Van; as the Dowager Countess in Downton Abbey; and as the melancholy Muriel Donnelly in…

Frugal Fable Pantry

After I quit my marriage and full-time job my pantry lasted about two and a half years. I didn’t know it was a good idea, but while I had money I overstocked the pantry. Pantry items include spices and herbs, salt, sugars, vanilla extract, liquid smoke, Worcestershire sauce, tins of beans and tomatoes, bouillon cubes,…

Green Stone

I am hopeful. It comes in waves. Hopeful you will discover you love me. My despair keeps crashing battering at the break wall says you won’t. But I am as hopeful as the large sky and blue lake that filled my eyes today and the tiny green beach stone I pocketed on this St. Patrick’s…

Frugal Fables begins

The idea for Frugal Fables came as I was filling in for the receptionist at my local naturopathic clinic. The most challenging aspect of the job was booking appointments for busy career women. Some women told me they started work at seven in the morning and they wouldn’t be home until past our closing time…

Gluttony

Yesterday I pondered: why is gluttony considered a sin, or why would God, if there is such a being, care whether I overeat. In other words, is it not God’s will for me to enjoy the edible abundance and bounty in my world? And if not, why not? It didn’t take long for Mr Google…

Odd Ball

This moon this changing mood am I waxing am I waning am I full? These empty ovaries twin moons white nodules in the sea of me fireless stony and silent. My mood slithers from orbit like a cracked egg sliding down my thigh I’m moving toward uselessness. My mother assures me, the time beyond this…

Getting in Shape (for free)

Yesterday I came up with a whole new chapter for the book I’m working on (How to Live on Nothing and Have Everything). It’s called, Getting in Shape. CAUTION: This material is untested. I found myself believing the horseshit that if I only had money I’d get in shape; I’d join a gym; I’d hire…

Manuscript seeks Publisher

Fred’s Funeral It’s 1986. Ninety-year-old Fred Sadler has died but rather than cross over to the wondrous afterlife he glimpses briefly, Fred finds his spirit distressingly tethered to his insufferable sister-in-law, Viola. The ghostly Fred wrestles with life-long resentments while Viola goes about making funeral arrangements and attending his funeral and wake. As a young man,…

Fishing

I’m fishing in a fathomless pond reeling in six today no seven piscine quicksilver so easily forgotten dragged from depths below I remember. The water tranquil mere ripples across the deep dark green a verdant vast pool of whispers and secrets. I pull them gasping for life breathe into them they don’t die dancing in…

Nouns

If I were to lose my nouns now as many women do what would become of my poetry? It would blow into nothingness a silent storm waving beyond air-tight windows. But I am blessed. As the hormones rearrange my brain and life, my nouns stick to me like magnetic poetry on the refrigerator. I am…

Losing You

I did not love you well enough or deep enough. I held back, disdained. And now regret rains on me for there are no further years to fill with opportunities for sunny affection or daisy days. I cared. I took care. I tended but I did not love. Today I crack open and leak from…

Blooms

I am weighted down by the beauty of the full-blown bush. Once upon a time I grew a rose but snipped its buds in their rolled and soft perfection. I prefer the unbloomed rose before it opens and begins to drop its petals. These bushes sag, burdened by their aging beauty it is too much!…

Q-Tips

Because the insides of my ears are wet I put down my chore and heed the Q-Tips’ call. I must swab out my canals while the wax is soft, and dry them so the wind no longer tingles through cooling them. Listen. Some people, I’ve heard, see their livingroom askew and rush to dust and…

Sexopause

Have you ever had a phase in your life when, in spite of being open to a sexual relationship, your romantic universe just doesn’t collide with the universe of Mr. A&A (Attractive and Available)? I call this, Sexopause. It can last a few weeks, a few months or, as in my current case, a few…

Silence

The long cold silent winter stretches out like a thin blanket on a loveless bed. I trust life is breathing – a barely beating heart in hidden leaves and sunken acorns frigid bulbs. The silence menaces me. No birds no dogs no screen doors slamming. No ribald teenage calls at two in the morning from…

Fruit Flies

I watch the winged drown in the cider trap feel a tinge sorry for their floating bodies no longer flitting annoying gnats helicoptering the tomatoes the pears the compost bucket. I rationalize that their last moments were at least debauched for flies. Then I reflect on the soldiers drowning in mud swatted from this planet…